Catatan 'hidup'

  Some say, “when you’re sad, write a poem” “Sorrow is the gasoline for people like us” But most of times it doesn’t light me up, -it kills me time after time   And now my heart is like a graveyard full of tombs some are still open, and some are closed I’m afraid of finding the old body -while digging for the new one Are they fossilized already? Or are they still wet and rotten?   I replied to them, “I don’t have to find a muse, -my life is already like one” When I was seventeen, there was a man who texted me A man I knew only by the name, We came   from the sperm of the same person, And he was born before me   The fucked-up thread I had only imagined in my head, for years Was now talking right to me Saying my mother and I -had ruined his and his younger brother’s lives because our father abandoned them   At that time, I was still a child who is fussed when her father forgot to say “see you later...