Catatan 'hidup'

  I  My only one, My smoking gun, My eclipsed sun, This has breaking me down Kasihku, Teman kalutku, Gerhana matahariku, Kau telah menghancurkan aku My twisted knife, My sleepless night, My winless fight, This has frozen my ground Senjataku makan tuan, Aku terbangun semalaman Masa depan tanpa arah, karena- kau adalah peperangan yang tak bisa aku menangkan Stood on the cliffside, Screaming "Give me a reason" Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in Berdiri pada tebing curam, berteriak "Beri aku alasan agar tidak melompat" Cinta tanpa keraguanmu- adalah satu-satunya kebohongan yang pernah aku percaya Don't want the other shade of blue, But you No other sadness in the world Would do Tak ingin kurasakan pilu, kecuali tentangmu Sehingga tak ada kesedihan lain- menghantuiku II My best laid plan, Your sleight of hand, My barren land, I am ash to your fire Rencana terbaikku, Tipu dayamu, Penyebab mati rasaku, Karena...

  We really don't need to talk much, just spending time with you makes me heal, as long as our heart are connected, as long as you feel what I feel too, the words "why" and 'how to' become something unimportant, since the world turned into a small fist when I found you. If you knew, maybe it's better like this from the start,  as long as you don't go I don't need to go anywhere, but if you go I don't know where to go.   Growing up made me understand that home is not where we stop and settle down but I have found it in someone, even though we are not always perfect, even though the fights that have and will happen perhaps either growing us up or dividing us in separate way, I don't care Nothing is permanent in the world so let's love as if today were forever, it would be better if we were being given more feelings tomorrow, let's walk as long as our shoes fit, let's walk to the end, cause I've been standing near the abyss a lone,...

  I Keadaan banyak- berubah sekarang, Kita tidak lagi terhubung satu sama lain   Sama seperti kita yang gagal mempertahankan, Kata-kataku Tidak lagi menyentuh hatimu Bagaimana kecewamu, Membangun kecewaku juga Jarak ini terlampau jauh untuk diperbaiki Sehingga cinta pun pergi Walaupun sakit Perasaan itu Menjadi Kenangan Melekat, Teringat dengan jelas Di sana, Suatu hari Pada musim panas kita   (musim panas tahun itu milik kita) II Kita duduk Mengikuti garis Pesisir pantai Ada persahabatan Yang kala itu Kita genggam Ada cinta Yang menunggu waktunya Untuk terucap Ada aku Ada kamu Ada laut Yang mendebur biru "Momen ini akan bertahan selamanya," kau bilang. Ada pula mentari sore, Melambaikan dirinya Membisikkan Selamat tinggal [Terinspirasi dari drama, Twenty Five Twenty One]

  Seandainya bukan kamu, pasti sudah akan ada orang lain yang kumintai tolong. Namun sebelum itu, ketahuilah; you were  the only thing i know like the back of my hand. Denganmu rasanya aku tidak perlu menyembunyikan apa-apa, mungkin hanya keyakinan dalam pikiranku saja. Aku tidak pernah menjadi seseorang yang seterbuka itu, denganmu atau tanpamu, namun padamu aku merasakan satu, aman. Kalau dipikir-pikir, sekarang aku tidak mencintai siapa-siapa, tidak berjalan di atas perasaan siapa pun. Setiap orang sibuk dengan kehidupan mereka, dan biar memang begitu. Di jalanku, beberapa duri terpijak. Aku tahu tidaklah mudah bagi setiap orang untuk menjalani hidup, mungkin ujian yang sekarang ini adalah sesuatu yang bisa kita gunakan untuk menebus kehidupan di surga kelak. Aku tidak menggenggam apa pun lagi, melayang. Menatap langit dengan air mata yang tidak bisa keluar, berjemur, mengeringkan diri, aku telah menjadi terlalu rentan belakangan ini, dan aku tahu tidak baik selalu merasa ...

⚠️ caution: for someone who feels uncomfortable or struggling with depression it is advised not to read the content. Date: Tuesday, 8th February  To: H Subject: <> H, lately I'm thinking that being happy is a sin, that i have to pay off everything I have stolen from everybody they have the more rights in. But life is always complicated,right?  and I merely want to tell you a story, my little story.  To living a life is not easy, we have to do the things we don't like and being told to fulfill the standards, everything needs to be fixed when they are different, and you know I got exhausted of being shaped out. Have you ever felt like burning out of life, H?  But still, I am here, ready to offering you a hug, we can go somewhere they don't know the place. there will be just us sitting on the bench, talking about stuff and why do the world doesn't give some comfortable space for someone good like you and compeletly obnoxious people like us. Here, take the pills, ...

  I don't think that this one is the best achievement in my life but, I want to share this still, to put it down here so that if someday I'll be face in some complicating situation, these words would probably be my answer- -- as much as i understand, as much as i have learned. It happened sometimes ago, I didn't release things as much as I did before such writing, drawing nor something else that I always do when I'm going too deep on my mind. It feels like a full break, to taking a rest of my mind, my heart and soul - to find an escape from all these busy living, and it turns out great. --- I start to look for what's around and i found them more interesting somehow--- not to even ask myself is it me happy or neither I am, surprisingly I met some new friends--  doing some busy things that everyone else does, and I had found that some of cool things aren't always meant to remember and to be kept in memories, but they just there, supposed to be feel and to be dis...

  Even when you're broken, love is still everywhere #Mainstreamstuff  Suasana seantero SMA Harapan Bangsa mulai ricuh sejak pak Raditya dkk melakukan operasi kelengkapan seragam di depan gerbang. Ya, belakangan ini ketertiban seragam sekolah mulai digalakkan sejak beberapa siswa terciduk tak memakai atribut lengkap. Pelanggaran mereka pun beragam, antara lain tak memakai ikat pinggang, kaos kaki yang tak memiliki logo sekolah, topi, dasi, almamater, sepatu hitam, dan lain sebagainya Meskipun semua dilakukan demi ketertiban, ada sebagian siswa yang tak senang dengan kegiatan tersebut karena merasa kebebasan mereka terlalu dikekang, salah satunya adalah Debiana cantika, cewek pendiam yang tak terlalu peduli aturan sedang memanyunkan bibirnya didepan pintu gerbang. Ah, shit. Mana gue gak bawa dasi lagi Mereka yang tak memakai atribut lengkap dikumpulkan menjadi satu barisan, sebelum kemudian dihukum massal. Mungkin bagi beberapa orang hanya hukuman biasa, seperti hormat pada ...